Friday, July 14, 2017

If you don’t help me take off, please, get out of the runaway

personal growth

Over the years, we meet many people. Some become a precious support, they support us in the most difficult moments and give us the strength to continue. Others inspire us or assume the role of guide and mentor.

But we also encounter many people who find a problem for each solution, they block and infect us with their pessimism, to make sure we can’t take off. These people exist, and even though we must learn to live with them, we must not let them intrude on our dreams and future projects.

The persons that hinder you: Their strategy is to sow the doubt


It can be a member of your family, a friend, a work colleague or even a neighbor with whom you meet in the elevator. At first these people seem very fond of you, but gradually you begin to realize that they have sharp opinions about the others and are very inflexible.

Then you find out that when talking to them about your project, they make everything to try to sow the doubt. It can be a casual phrase, an apparently innocent question, the tone of the voice stranger than usual or even a simple look of disbelief.

In some cases they can give you the classic disinterested advice of a “friend” with what they encourage you to abandon the project. The reasons may vary, but they are almost always too generic because don’t have a solid foundation: "I think it's not for you," "this idea did not have a future," or "you've already tried it without results".

People who are hindering you are experts in sowing doubts, whether in your capabilities or in the feasibility of your projects. And meanwhile they transmit you their negative and alarming vision of the world. If you do not identify them in time and learn to counteract their influence, you are at risk of abandoning your dreams without even trying.

All points of view are important


People who motivate and encourage us are important because they strengthen our self-esteem and trust. However, a dose of strategic negativity does not hurt, especially when it comes to very ambitious projects.

Therefore, even the role of people who are trying to show us all the disasters that may occur is important. The key is to take a psychological distance, listen to what they say without letting us be impregnated by their pessimism.

Remember that the key to balance in life is to be able to join the extremes. Many projects have failed due to excessive optimism or toxic optimism.

If you want to fly high and far, the desire and a positive attitude are not enough, you also need to build your "airplane" and consider possible storms. About this, people who hinder us are real specialists.

Everything has a limit


People who hinder us will not change their vision of the world. Everyone has his opinion and has the right to express it, even if it is wrong, even if it is not the most intelligent and discourages you. You can’t change this. But you can change the way you react to those opinions.

If it is someone close to you who feels the need to constantly express an opinion about your projects, it may be that he or she feels fear for you and doesn’t want you to take new risks because is only able to see the dangers that this involves.

In these cases, it is important that you learn how to distance yourself, for your psychological well-being.

Tell him or her that you've got his opinions and advices, but you're going to decide yourself. You can’t force him or her to lean on a project they don’t believe in or are frighten about, but they have no right to hinder your flight.

Ask him or her, kindly, to get off the runaway.

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If you don’t help me take off, please, get out of the runaway
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Jennifer Delgado Suárez

Psicologist by profession and passion, dedicated to string words together. Discover my Books

FEED YOUR NEURONS

Psychology as you never heard about...

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