Friday, July 15, 2016

7 things happy people don’t do

personal growth

In life there are situations beyond our control and may cause us great pain, move deep in sadness or beget a deep anger. Everyone, sooner or later, will have to live these experiences.

However, there are people who focus on these issues, and come to believe that life is just suffering. Others, however, prefer to focus on the things they can control, prefer to do everything’s possible to be happy or at least try.

If we assume this perspective, we can understand that happiness is a personal decision that we take every day. And to achieve this is essential to be aware of these behaviors and attitudes that eventually can turn our life bitter.

What differentiates people who bet on happiness?

1. Happy people accept the change. Unhappy people fear it

Accepting change is one of the most difficult challenges we face in life. For most people it is easier to stay sheltered in their comfort zone, where they know exactly what to expect and have everything relatively under control. But in that area happiness is scarce, because happiness is to live new experiences, to have the courage to go beyond our limits and to be in constant evolution. In fact, happiness is not inconsistent with fear and anxiety, but is intertwined with these to allow us to grow.

2. Happy people talk about ideas. Unhappy people speak of the others

Happy people are focused on themselves, they strive to have clear what they want and mark the path to achieve it. In fact, one of the greatest secrets of happiness is to abandon unhealthy criticism, the unhealthy need to depend on others and, above all, the belief that we are superior and we can become the judges of the behaviors and attitudes of others. Unhappy people, by contrast, are dedicated to criticize others, so that they waste valuable energy that could be used to improve their lives.

3. Happy people take responsibility for their mistakes. Unhappy people blame the others

In our society there is the belief that mistakes are something negative, making it very difficult to people to assume them voluntarily. But blaming others is the most direct route to unhappiness. Conversely, happy people have an internal locus of control that allows them to take responsibility for their actions, without feeling that they have failed or have shouldered the burden of guilt. These people understand that mistakes are opportunities to learn and take the opportunity to grow. So, when they are wrong, rather than crying over spilled milk, or look for a culprit, learn the lesson and go on providing a set of tools that will help them to live more fully.

4. Happy people forgive. Unhappy people hold resentment

One of the most damaging feelings we can experience is the resentment, it is like be consumed on a low heat for our own will. Resentment not only makes us unhappy, but also triggers a series of physiological reactions that increase our propensity to disease. So happy people know they have to forgive and move on. In fact, forgiveness is deeply liberating because prevents us from remaining prisoners of the past and enables us to live fully in the present. If we are not able to forgive we remain prisoners of resentment, we are tied to this situation that made us so much harm and keep doing it.

5. Happy people focus on the positive. Unhappy people see only spots on the sun

Happy people are not naive optimists, on the contrary, can become very realistic and are able to keep their expectations under control. But they rather focus on the positive aspects of situations, because they know they can motivate themselves and feel better. These people are aware that the glass is half empty, but choose to focus on the fact that it is also half full. In contrast, unhappy people focus on the negative aspects of situations, so they end up developing a pessimistic view of the world that ends up bittering their life. These people prefer to see the spots on the sun, instead of appreciating the warmth and light that gives us.

6. Happy people are taking advantage of opportunities. Unhappy people cross their arms and complain

One of the keys to have a full and happy life is to seize the opportunities. Happy people know this and are always willing to consider alternatives. These people know they can make mistakes, but they prefer to risk rather than sit idly by and then repent for not having seized the opportunity. In contrast, unhappy people wallow in bitterness and leave that opportunity pass next to them and are constantly inventing excuses to complain for their “bad luck”, they do not realize that they are those who build their own destiny.

7. Happy people follow their dreams. Unhappy people remain tied to the opinions of others

Happy people dream as if they could live forever, and live as if they were to die tomorrow. This means they have big plans for the future but, at the same time, do not miss out on the here and now. They do not postpone happiness or subject it to a distant goal, but they know how to take advantage of the little things that give them joy and satisfaction. In contrast, unhappy people let others dictate their goals, rely on their opinions and insights. This is the most direct route to dissatisfaction, bitterness and remorse, follow a trail blazed by others, and depend on their opinions. The key to true happiness is to know what we really need and have the courage to fight to get it.

Benjamin Franklin already told it, “human happiness is not achieved with great blows of unexpected luck, which rarely occur in life, but with little things that happen every day”.


Keep feeding your neurons

7 things happy people don’t do
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Jennifer Delgado Suárez

Psicologist by profession and passion, dedicated to to string words together. Discover my Books


Psychology as you never heard about...

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