Monday, May 2, 2016

Surround yourself with interesting people, not interested

wrong people

Like it or not, people next to you eventually influence you. If you surround yourself with positive and enthusiastic people, their optimism will be contagious. Conversely, if you surround yourself with stressed and pessimistic people, it is likely you end up assuming their vision of the world and lose the will to live. Never forget that emotions are contagious.

Of course, there are situations where we can not choose who’s next to us, as in the workplace, but we can decide whether to let these people come into our lives or not. So when it comes time to decide which people to have at your side you have to think that, however much self-esteem and self-confidence you have, even the hardest rock ends up being eroded by the continuous action of the sea. This means that you should make sure to surround yourself with interesting people, not interested ones.

Who are the interested persons?

We are all, to a greater or lesser degree, interested persons. However, there are people who come to us just because they want something, but are not prepared to give anything in return. You recognize them because:

- They are people who act like emotional vampires, so at the end of a conversation, even the most trivial, it is likely that you feel like you've been taken away all the energy.

- They are very demanding, never satisfied with what you give them. No matter how many sacrifices you did or how hard you worked to meet them, it will never be enough and they will tell you that.

- They are people who do not compromise in the relationship and are not willing to give anything, unless they receive something important in return. The relationship with them lose the emotional aspect to become a kind of commercial exchange.

- They are able to generate negative feelings in you, such as guilt and insecurity. Are authentic teachers in making sure that others feel bad, especially if you do not give in to their demands.

In fact, these people are not really bad, the problem is that they don’t know how to relate in a different way. They believe to be the center of the universe and selfishness makes them think that everyone should become their “slave”.

To maintain a friendly relationship with them, you need to let them know you respect them, but also expect they respect your individuality. Establish limits and make sure they do not exceed them. Let them know that you will not fall into their game and that you can help in some situations, but this does not mean that you will always be available to them.

Who are the interesting people?

An interesting person is someone who gives us a lot, emotionally and intellectually. These people:

- Are the architects of positive emotions and make you laugh even in difficult times, staying at your side when you need it most.

- Allow you to grow as a person, helping you understand what you can not see with the naked eye and broaden your horizons.

- Don’t know everything, but have a curious mind always ready to explore new things with you.

- Bring out your best side, making sure that is the best version of you.

Interesting people always light up, both for their knowledge, their ability to convey affection, empathy or authenticity. They are not perfect, no one is, but know how to accept and respect others, relating from the bottom of their “self”. They are people with whom you connect almost immediately and for which you feel total empathy, because with them you share ideas, passions and hobbies.

Often these people are not interested in adapting, so their attitudes and points of view are a challenge for others. In fact, this is one of the reasons they are so exciting because, although we have things in common, they are also very different and become agents of change that stimulate our growth.

Look for people who transmit you a good “vibration”, who can criticize without hurting you, people who pursue their dreams and will infect you with their joy, that seek solutions and recognize their mistakes when they are wrong. When you find them, don’t let them go away because are your most valuable asset.

And, of course, try to become a person like that, an interesting person with whom it is worth spending time and compromising.


Keep feeding your neurons

Surround yourself with interesting people, not interested
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Jennifer Delgado Suárez

Psicologist by profession and passion, dedicated to to string words together. Discover my Books


Psychology as you never heard about...

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