Tuesday, January 12, 2016

What have to be will be, when time comes

happy woman

I trust the lifetime. I think it makes no sense to despair, because what have to be will be, in time. It doesn’t mean we have to trust in a higher plan or anything like that, but simply accept the events when they come, without feeling a useless apprehension for the delay.

In fact, think about the desired things that later have come naturally, without effort. Someone says the best things just happen without looking for them eagerly.

Fear is a lack of confidence

Louise L.Hay said that: “fear is nothing more than a lack of confidence”. We’re afraid when we don’t trust our abilities, when we think we don’t deserve anything, when we don’t trust and can’t achieve what we want. In that moment we’re overcome by panic and apprehension.

However, the interesting thing is that in this state we’re unable to see and seize opportunities, so far the fortune we crave, ends up passing in front of our door and we miss it. Or maybe, it knocks at the door, but the noise in our mind prevents us from listening.

Occasionally it’s better we let the pressure go away, getting rid of expectations and the need to plan everything in details. Sometimes we have just to enjoy life and be open to possibilities.

At that point comes a curious paradox: when we stop scheduling and planning, opening to possibilities, we expand our options’ range and enjoy life more relaxed. When you stop obsessing yourself about something, you can watch in another direction and find a new pleasure, that you haven’t expected before because you were stubborn.

Everything comes and everything goes

In the most difficult moments, my grandmother, a woman who had the wisdom of the ages and by experience, used to say: “everything comes and everything goes”. This means two things: 1. It’s useless to be obsessed and feel apprehension because eventually, one way or another, everything comes and 2. that we always end up getting used to that thing that preoccupied us or turned us anxious, so at the end that thing isn’t so important as we used to think.

In a way, this is the basic concept of the Taoist wu wei, who claims not to force the circumstances artificially in a way that could weaken their harmony. This principle states that we should stop “doing”, when “do” means an effort to divert the world from its natural evolution. Its essence is in learning to flow, to achieve a better wellbeing. Don’t do it brings only suffering

We have to let go the circumstances beyond our control, accept the situations as they come and always be open to new possibilities. It’s simple. But difficult to implement, because we're not used to it, because we’re too accustomed to force the circumstances and make pressure on time.

To achieve this, we must understand that life is a continuous change, and although sometimes the wind is not blowing in our favor, sooner or later it will change, then it's time to open the sails. Then we can stop worrying about the future to give more value to the present.

Neither passivity nor resignation

The concept of wu wei doesn’t imply immobility or passivity. Trusting the lifetime doesn’t mean we have to cross our arms or resign, but only that we have to get rid of apprehension, fear and anxiety. It means moving on safely and relaxed.

Adopting this new way to face life involves letting that the circumstances surprise you, means to be open to possibilities, not just leave them out because you're too busy with your concerns and your goals.

Life is a wonderful journey but don’t try to plan every centimeter of the road. Sometimes you only need to feel you exist and let things surprise you, trust in casualties and be ready to open the sails when the wind is favorable.


Keep feeding your neurons

What have to be will be, when time comes

Jennifer Delgado Suárez

Psicologist by profession and passion, dedicated to string words together. Discover my Books


Psychology as you never heard about...

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