Thursday, January 21, 2016

7 things that will change your life forever

woman with flower

The only constant in life is change. There’re cumulative changes, that we almost do not realize, and changes that come as a hurricane to put our life upside down. In any case, it’s better not to resist and learn to adapt to new circumstances, maximizing the advantages that can be provided.

Often, the radical changes come from unexpected events that cause real existential crisis, turning points on our path. These changes are more painful and difficult to accept, especially because come as a surprise. However, we can get ready for these changes, generating small changes within us that will turn us into more resilient people.

We can change, creating opportunities ourselves and prepare for life. To achieve this, we can embrace some habits that will probably change forever the way we see the world and the way we relate with our “self”.

Small changes every day that take us forward

1. Find a meaning for your life. Some people go through life without knowing what they experienced. Others face life with so much joy and enthusiasm to be contagious. When you finally answer questions like: what do I want to achieve in my life? What excites me? What makes me truly happy? you can give a purpose and a direction to your life. It doesn’t mean you won’t miss in small alleys, but can quickly regain the main road because you’re no longer wandering aimlessly, waiting for others to determine your direction.

2. Write your dreams. When we were kids we had many dreams, but these remained along the way, as stones too heavy to carry on. However, living without dreams is like dying a little every day. Therefore, one of the oldest techniques of the Buddhist philosophy is to write down our wishes, although they seem impossible. And the more we write the better is. In fact, most people only manage to write between five or seven wishes, but what is really interesting and transforming of this idea comes when you go beyond, focusing to look inside yourself and ask yourself exactly what you want, not what you're supposed to.

3. Plan your goals. Setting goals is an art not difficult to learn, but often the unconscious is working against us. In fact, there’s nothing worse than planning continually the same objectives as those who always want to lose weight, and can’t do it. The sense of frustration is so great that becomes a crockery for your self-esteem. Therefore, the goals should be specific, measurable, no matter whether they are short or long term. When you have objectives which are too vague, it is generally because they hide a resistance in the background, it’s because something inside you takes you in the opposite direction and don’t want your succes. Discovering this dynamic changes your life completely, because you become a proactive person, the architect of your destiny.

4. Get rid of remorse. Remorses are heavy stones you carry in the backpack of your life. They keep you from moving forward because force you continually to look back and steal your strength, when what you realy need is concentrating on the future. Learning to accept the consequences of your actions and decisions, without remorse, it’s extremely liberating, because gives you a security you haven’t experienced before, a security that gives you greater freedom and courage to embark on new journeys. A good exercise to get rid of the sense of guilt is to write your remorses on a balloon and just let them go with the wind. And while watching them flying away, you’ll feel free.

5. Face your fears. As we grow, the list of things that scare us increases. We cease to be frigthened by monsters under the bed and in the closet, but by new monsters even worse that take their place, that paralyze us, as the fear of failure. Therefore, a great exercise is to choose some of the things that frighten us and dare to realize them. Facing our fears and realize that most of them are baseless, gives us an amazing sense of empowerment never experienced before. At that point, you realize that the true limits are in your mind, not in the world.

6. Love yourself unconditionally. Probably the most difficult of all exercises is to love ourselves as we are, accepting that we make mistakes, that we’re not perfect and probably sometimes we even have a wrong attitude with people we love. But still, rather than blame us, we choose to love ourselves. It means we have to love ourselves, that is not the same thing than accept us. In fact, love is a much deeper feeling that exists regardless of errors and reasons. We have to become our best ally when we are wrong and not punish ourselves cruelly but encourage us, a radically different attitude compared to the one we’ve been taught, in a society where only achievement is rewarded while error is cruelly punished.

7. Living the moment. We often focus so much on being happy that we lose the opportunity to be happy. In fact, I recently read a quote that impressed me: “since I quit looking for myself I feel better”. And although we have to have goals and know where we’re going, it is also essential to learn enjoy the “here and now”, without any pretensions or expectations than to live what is happening. When you learn to live the present, something changes forever inside yourself, you want to suck the juice of life, and realize that to achieve something it is enough to be fully present, enjoying all those things that you didn’t see before because you were confused by your speed.

Remember that each day is a decision. And it's in your hands to choose one direction or the other.


Keep feeding your neurons

7 things that will change your life forever

Jennifer Delgado Suárez

Psicologist by profession and passion, dedicated to string words together. Discover my Books


Psychology as you never heard about...

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