Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Let in people that add you something

people that bring something

Easy to say. Apply it is a bit difficult, because every day we meet people who, like it or not, share a bit of our lives, even if just a few hours. That time is more than enough for these people to infect us with their pessimistic, catastrophic or dispiriting thoughts. Obviously, we can’t avoid these people, we can’t turn into hermits, but we can limit their access to our life.

Cultivate your friendships as would care a beautiful garden

Nobody wants to have on their side people who threaten their personal growth. All of us want to be surrounded with people who add something, with whom share good experiences. Obviously, we must consider that interpersonal relationships are not black and white. There always will be moments when a person affect our well-being and others that compensate.

No one is completely bad or good, but we must pay attention to avoid unnecessary emotional harm. Therefore, we could start thinking about our relationships as to a garden. There are weeds that must be eradicated, and there are plants which, though beautiful, just don’t fit the style or space in our garden.

Of course, it's not about judging people or assuming an arrogant and dismissive attitude, but only become mature learning how to choose our friends wisely. There’re wonderful people who just don’t fit with us because don’t share our philosophy of life, or because they make us divert too much from our essence.

Nor is it that everything has to be harmony and peace, because also from conflicts and others’ opinons we can learn, grow and be enriched. When referring to people who enrich our life we’re talking of people that:

- Love us when we least deserve it, because they are aware of our needs

- Support us when all others tell us that our plan is crazy

- Don’t tell us what we want to hear but what we need to hear, to help us recognize our mistakes

- Don’t criticize but help us bringing out the best of ourselves

- Don’t fill us with stereotypes but help us open our minds

Who are people who subtract?

Those who subtract us something are those that are damaging our self-esteem, they always have a problem for every solution and ready to crtics and instill fear and uncertainty.

Those who subtract are those who take out the worst of us, because through their attitudes promote indecision, inaction and fear.

Thosewho subtract are rigid in their attitudes, they don’t give room for an error and set themselves up as judges of our life, so that, instead of feeling unique and special, we feel small and inadequate.

Those who subtract are those who suck our energy, infectng us with their pessimism and preventing us from growing.

10 keys to become a person that enriches the lives of others

1. Make feel special the person close to you

2. Help him/her find solutions, don’t add concerns

3. Challenge his/her stereotypes, expands its perspective

4. Give him/her a surprise to trigger an happy smile

5. Support him/her whenever he/she needs it, especially when others turn their backs

6. Convey trust and confidence when his/her world is about to collapse

7. Feed his/her dreams and illusions, don’t kill them

8. Help him/her to be authentic and let know you accept him/her as is

9. Share what you have learned, enriches his/her world

10. Connect emotionally from your essence


Keep feeding your neurons

Let in people that add you something

Jennifer Delgado Suárez

Psicologist by profession and passion, dedicated to string words together. Discover my Books


Psychology as you never heard about...

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