Monday, June 22, 2015

10 famous quotes to stop worrying about what others think of you



We learn to be ourselves through the others. First we look into the eyes of those around us, like our parents, and then we get a rather vague idea of ​​who we are. Over the years, this idea is taking shape better, thanks in part to people we meet on our way. These persons are giving us clues to confirm or refute our perception. Our personality is being formed through this process.

The main problem is that the others become master potters that shape our self-esteem and self-confidence, but without knowing how to do it and often not even being fully aware of this.

Obviously, the problem arises when we pay too much attention to the opinions of others, when we’re overly concerned about what they think of us, so much that we make important decisions motivated only by the desire to please and fit with the others.

Of course, we can’t be always insensible to other’s opinions because we are essentially social beings. However, when we care more about what people will say than our satisfaction, when we give priority to other’s acceptance over our own happiness, then, sooner or later, our path will be twisted and when we look around us we’ll only see unhappiness.

It is therefore essential to find a fair balance between the person we want to be, and the person that others want us to be. It’s not easy, but the path is worth it.

10 major personalities, 10 major phrases to be authentic


1. The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages. - Virginia Woolf

The great writer, who ended up committing suicide, knew exactly what she meant, especially since she lived in a society where the writing world was dominated by men. And in many cases, the prism through which we see others involves only a limited view of ourselves, because nobody is better than ourselves to meet our potential.

2. I do not have a responsibility to be like they expect me to be. It's their mistake, not my failing. - Richard P. Feynman

Feynman was not a common physical, if he had been, he might not have won the Nobel prize. Therefore, he alerts us to the danger of thinking that when we don’t meet the expectations of others the fault is ours, that we feel we have failed. Sometimes that feeling is so strong and deep rooted that we drag it for a lifetime, especially when we have disappointed people who are important to us, such as our parents. However, not meeting other’s expectations isn’t an error, not even a defect, we must not let others live through our lives shaping our aspirations.

3. Say what you want and be who you are, because those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter. - Theodor Seuss Geisel

The writer and cartoonist was referring not only to self-confidence but also to love and acceptance. True love doesn’t impose conditions, it is that one who accepts the persons not in spite of their defects, but also for their defects. People who really count in our lives are those that push us to make the best of ourselves, that give us encouragement and support us, without trying to stunt our potential.

4. There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing and be nothing. - Aristotle

The Greek philosopher knew that it is virtually impossible to escape criticism, unless you are so insignificant to not attract the interest of anyone. The criticisms are often based on envy, which is simply often a sign that we’re on the right track. Therefore, before we fell demoralized thinking to abandon, we should consider if the critic is constructive, how we can improve or, on the contrary, if it’s only a criticism intended to hurt. In that case it is recommended to avoid it.

5. To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The writer and philosopher who laid the foundation of transcendentalism invites us to be ourselves. Emerson thought that we all have an inner God and that we should get carried away more by intuition. Therefore, no matter what we ignore or what we achieve as long as it makes us happy. The simple fact of daring to dream, trying to achieve something different and expressing ourselves authentically, is a good reason to be proud of ourselves.

6. The reward for conformity is that everyone likes you, except yourself. - Rita Mae Brown

This American writer could not put it better. Trying to please everyone and seek acceptance and approval from others is a direct way to unhappiness. When we adopt the others dreams we forget our own, so we end up trapped in an unhappy life because it lacks enthusiasm and passion.

7. Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner. - Lao Tzu

Taoism extols the power of individuals and, above all, their ability to think and decide for themselves. So it’s not surprising that from one of its leading philosophers we get this warning: when we submit to the expectations of others, when we let them think for us, we are in their hands and become an easy prey of the emotional manipulation. Remember that only what we consider important can harm us.

8. Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. Albert Einstein

Einstein knew exactly what he was talking about, he knew that challenging the established isn’t easy. People often oppose a great resistance to change, so that any ideas challenging the conventions could be a danger. Only few people are able to see beyond, so that the majority we’ll try to stop you. However, remember that a vocation unfulfilled can drain the color of a lifetime.

9. The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the crowd. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. - Friedrich Nietzsche

No one said the road to authenticity was easy. In fact, we will meet many people trying to discourage us and invite us to follow the established rules. So, sometimes we may feel alone and misunderstood. However, the gift is huge because it means we’re the masters of our destiny, we can decide what to do with our lives.

10. Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else's life. - Steve Jobs

Steve Jobs knew he had cancer. During the years he spent fighting the disease, and he had time to reflect and leave us an illuminating lesson: don’t let the others will impose their dreams, don’t try to continuously meet their expectations, because at the end of the trip life will pass you the bill. Our time is too short, so we shouldn’t waste it doing something that we don’t like simply because others do it or because it has always been done that way.

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Jennifer Delgado Suárez

Psicologist by profession and passion, dedicated to to string words together. Discover my Books

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